Quotes from the Movie The 40 Year Old Virgin

If I have to hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm gonna "Yah Mo" burn this place to the ground.

David

No... uncool? Uncool is trying to give an honest man a big box of porn, Andy!

David

My Uncle Used to Drive a Hoe Runner.

David

Know how i know you're gay? Because you like Asia.

David

I like your sweater. Does it come in a V-neck?

David

Dude, you look like a man-o-lantern.

David

I wanna take you to Paris and make love to you under the Eiffel Tower.

David

Ya know, that's okay with me. If she wants to go around and be a little bitch and blow everybody that's fine with me.

David

And this is...this is Everybody loves Raymond...This...I...This probably shouldn't be in here...This is a good show though, I just tape this sometimes.

David

He's a really nice guy and all but I'm pretty sure that he is a serial murderer.

Cal

I'll tell you who's the hottest. Now you're gonna think I'm crazy when I tell you this; Gina. I can't get Gina outta' my head. I'm gonna be thinking of Gina all week.

Cal

I hired a 90-Ib girl to work in the stock room at Smart Tech for you, okay? I should've hired a 300-Ib guy to lift the 60-inch flat screen, but instead I hired a hot girl who can't lift an iPod to bring you out of your funk.

Cal

I touched a guy's balls at Hebrew School once.

Cal

Leave my torso alone at least!

Cal

Screw these analogies, okay? What he's saying is that you are gonna be so bad at sex the first time that you don't wanna have sex with someone you like, 'cause they'll think you're a weirdo for being so lame at it. So you wanna have sex with "hood rats" so that by the time you get to a girl that you "do like, you won't be terrible at sex, you'll be mediocre at it.[pause] Probably still pretty bad, though.

Cal